Beware The Closet Cultist Dom

Closet Cultist - This is the Dom who goes too far. They generally have little to no life outside of the scene and the subculture, and as a result, overcompensates by establishing a fiefdom onto his/her own. Let us look for a moment at how some of this manifests in the Cult Dom. Cult leaders have an outstanding ability to charm and win over followers. They beguile and seduce. They enter a room and garner all the attention. They command the utmost respect and obedience. These are "individuals whose narcissism is so extreme and grandiose that they exist in a kind of splendid isolation in which the creation of the grandiose self takes precedence over legal, moral or interpersonal commitments."(18) Paranoia may be evident in simple or elaborate delusions of persecution. Highly suspicious, they may feel conspired against, spied upon or cheated, or maligned by a person, group, or governmental agency. Any real or suspected unfavorable reaction may be interpreted as a deliberate attack upon them or the group.

Harder to evaluate, of course, is whether these Dom’s belief in their omnipotence is delusional or simply part of the con. In any case, beneath the surface gloss of intelligence, charm, and professed humility seethes an inner world of rage, depression, and fear.

Two writers on the subject used the label "Trust Bandit" to describe the psychopathic personality. Trust Bandit is indeed an apt description of this thief of our hearts, souls, minds, bodies, and pocketbooks. Learning to recognize the personality style of the Trust Bandit can be a useful antidote to further abuse.

The Profile of a Psychopath Cult Dom

In reading the profile, bare in mind the three characteristics that Robert Lifton sees as common to a cultic situation:

1. A charismatic leader who increasingly becomes the object of worship (note the use of the word increasingly, which means steady growth, as opposed to constant or stationery levels of worship)

2. A series of processes that can be associated with "coercive persuasion" or "thought reform" in the guise of slave training.

3. The tendency toward manipulation from above with exploitation--economic, sexual, or other--of often genuine seekers who bring idealism from below (just because you’re smart doesn’t mean you’re not naive)

Based on the psychopath checklists of Hervey Cleckley and Robert Hare, we now explore certain traits that are particularly pertinent to Cult Doms. The characteristics outlined below list features commonly found in those who become perpetrators of psychological and physical abuse. In the discussion we use the nomenclature "psychopath" and "cult leader" and “cult Dom” interchangeably. To illustrate these points, a case study of Branch Davidian cult leader David Koresh follows this section.


Characteristics of a Cult Dom

People coming out of a cultic group or relationship often struggle with the question, "Why would anyone (my leader, my lover, my teacher) do this to me?" When the deception and exploitation become clear, the enormous unfairness of the victimization and abuse can be very difficult to accept. Those who have been part of such a nightmare often have difficulty placing the blame where it belongs--on the Dom.

A cult cannot be truly explored or understood without understanding its leader. A cult's formation, proselytizing methods, and means of control "are determined by certain salient personality characteristics of [the] Cult Dom....Such individuals are authoritarian personalities who attempt to compensate for their deep, intense feelings of inferiority, insecurity, and hostility by forming cultic groups primarily to attract those whom they can psychologically coerce into and keep in a passive-submissive state, and secondarily to use them to increase their income."

In examining the motives and activities of these self-proclaimed leaders, it becomes painfully obvious that cult life is rarely pleasant for the submissive and breeds abuses of all sorts. As a defense against the high level of anxiety that accompanies being so acutely powerless, the cult submissive often assumes a stance of self-blame. This is reinforced by the manipulative messages that the followers are never good enough and are to blame for everything that goes wrong.

Demystifying the Cult Dom's power is an important part of the psyche- educational process needed to fully recover. It is critical to truly gaining freedom and independence from the leader’s control. The process starts with some basic questions: Who was this person who encouraged you to view him as perfect? What did he get out of this masquerade? What was the real purpose of the group (or relationship)?

In cults and abusive relationships, the submissives usually come to accept the abuse as their fault, believing that they deserve the foul treatment or that it is for their own good. They sometimes persist in believing that they are bad rather than considering that the person whom they are so dependent upon is cruel, untrustworthy, and unreliable. It is simply too frightening for them to do that: it threatens the balance of power and means risking total rejection, loss, and perhaps even death of self or loved ones.

Even after leaving the group or relationship, many former devotees carry a burden of guilt and shame while they continue to regard their former Dom as paternal, all-good, and infallible. This is quite common in those who "walk away" from their groups, especially if they never seek the benefits of an exit counseling or therapy to deal with the issues. This same phenomenon is found in in children who are abused by their parents or other adults they admire.

To heal from a traumatic experience of this type, it is important to understand who and what the perpetrator is. As long as there are illusions about the Cult Dom's motivation, powers, and abilities, those who have been in his grip deprive themselves of an important opportunity for growth: the chance to empower themselves, to become free of the tyranny of dependency on others for their well-being, spiritual growth, and happiness.


The Authoritarian Power Dynamic

The purpose of a cult (whether group or one-on-one) is to serve the emotional, financial, sexual, and power needs of the Dom. The single most important word here is power. The dynamic around which cults are formed is similar to that of other power relationships and is essentially ultra-authoritarian (in the scene we have the phrase Uber-Dom, and in psychology, ultra-authoritarian surpasses that), based on a power imbalance. The Cult Dom by definition must have an authoritarian personality in order to fulfill his half of the power dynamic. Traditional elements of authoritarian personalities include the following:

-A one-sided scale of values favoring the one in power

-Interpreting kindness as weakness

-The tendency to use people and see others as inferior

- Superficial judgments of people and events

-Hostility, hatred, prejudice

-The drive for power (and wealth)

-Incapability of being ultimately satisfied

-The tendency to hierarchy

-Paranoia

-A sadistic-masochistic tendency... OK, maybe that one doesn’t necessarily apply so well.

We will see, however, that an authoritarian personality is just one aspect of the nature of a Cult Dom.


Who Becomes a Cult Dom?

Frequently at gatherings of former cult members a lively exchange takes place in which those present compare their respective groups and leaders. As people begin to describe their special, enlightened, and unique "guru"--be he a pastor, therapist, political leader, teacher, lover, or swami--they are quickly surprised to find that their once-revered leaders are really quite similar in temperament and personality. It often seems as if these leaders come from a common mold, sometimes jokingly called the "Cookie-cutter Dom School."

These similarities between cult Doms of all stripes are in fact character disorders commonly identified with the psychopathic personality. Psychiatrists, medical doctors, clinical psychologists, and others have studied them for more than half a century.

Cultic D/s groups usually originate with a Dom who is believed to be unquestionable. Along with a dramatic and convincing talent for self-expression, these Doms have an intuitive ability to sense their followers' needs and draw them closer with promises of fulfillment. Gradually, the leader inculcates the group with his own private ideology through training (or craziness!), and then creates conditions so that his subs/victims cannot or dare not test his claims. Through psychological manipulation and control, Cult Doms trick their followers into believing in something, and then prevent them from testing and disproving that belief system.

Though the majority of this article focuses on Cult Doms and their submissives, it is not uncommon for Cult Doms to recruit non-subs into their web. These non-subs could be switches, other Doms who are inferior to the Cult Dom, or even vanilla individuals who are under the Cult Dom’s control, as long as they remain under the Cult Dom’s control. Tools of control could include physical restraint, peer pressure, emotional hostage taking, emotional manipulation, narcotics, or simply charisma and the fear of abandonment.


The Role of Charisma

In general, charismatic personalities are known for their inescapable magnetism, their winning style, and the self-assurance with which they promote something-- a cause, a belief, a product. A charismatic person who offers hope of new beginnings often attracts attention and a following. Over the years we have witnessed this in the likes of Dale Carnegie, Werner Erhard (founder of est, now The Forum), John Hanley (founder of Lifespring), Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, Shirley MacLaine, John Bradshaw, Marianne Williamson, Ramtha channeler J.Z. Knight, and a rash of Amway "executives," weight-loss program promoters and bodybuilding gurus.

One dictionary definition of charisma is "a personal magic of leadership arousing special popular loyalty or enthusiasm for a public figure (as a political leader or military commander); a special magnetic charm or appeal." Charisma was studied in depth by the German sociologist Max Weber, who defined it as "an exceptional quality in an individual who, through appearing to possess supernatural, providential, or extraordinary powers, succeeds in gathering disciples around him."

Weber's charismatic leader was "a sorcerer with an innovative aura and a personal magnetic gift, [who] promoted a specific doctrine.... [and was] concerned with himself rather than involved with others.... [He] held an exceptional type of power: it set aside the usages of normal political life and assumed instead those of demagoguery, dictatorship, or revolution, [which induced] men's whole-hearted devotion to the charismatic individual through a blind and fanatical trust and an unrestrained and uncriticized faith."

In the case of cult Doms, we know that this induction of wholehearted devotion does not happen spontaneously but is the result of the Cult Dom's skillful use of thought-reform techniques disguised as training. Charisma on its own is not evil and does not necessarily breed a Cult Dom. Charisma is, however, a powerful and awesome attribute found in many Cult Doms who use it in ways that are both self-serving and destructive to others. The combination of charisma and psychopathy is a lethal mixture.

For the Cult Dom, having charisma is perhaps most useful during the stage of group formation, which takes a strong-willed and persuasive Dom.

So we see that charisma is indeed a desirable trait for someone who wishes to attract a following. However, like beauty, charisma is in the eye of the beholder. Mary, for example, may be completely taken with a particular Dom, practically swooning at his every word, while her friend Susie doesn't feel the slightest tingle. Certainly at the time a person is under the sway of charisma the effect is very real. Yet, in reality, charisma does nothing more than create a certain worshipful reaction to an idealized figure in the mind of the one who is smitten.

In the long run, skills of persuasion (which may or may not be charismatic) are more important to the Cult Dom than charisma--for the power and hold of cults depend on the particular environment shaped by the thought-reform program, training and control mechanisms, all of which are usually conceptualized and put in place by the leader. Thus it is the psychopathology of the leader (not his charisma) that causes the systematic manipulative abuse and exploitation found in cults.


The Cult Dom as Psychopath

Dr. Robert Hare, one of the world's foremost experts in the field, estimates that there are at least two million psychopaths in North America. He writes, "Psychopaths are social predators who charm, manipulate, and ruthlessly plow their way through life, leaving a broad trail of broken hearts, shattered expectations, and empty wallets. Completely lacking in conscience and in feelings for others, they selfishly take what they want and do as they please, violating social norms and expectations without the slightest sense of guilt or regret."

The psychopathic personality is sometimes confused with the "anti- social personality," another disorder; however, the psychopath exhibits more extreme behavior than the antisocial personality. The antisocial personality is identified by a mix of antisocial and criminal behaviors--he is the common criminal. The psychopath, on the other hand, is characterized by a mix of criminal and socially deviant behavior.

Psychopathy is not the same as psychosis either. Psychosis is characterized by an inability to differentiate what is real from what is imagined: boundaries between self and others are lost, and critical thinking is greatly impaired.

While generally not psychotic, Cult Doms may experience psychotic episodes, which may lead to the destruction of himself or herself or the group. An extreme example of this is the mass murder-suicide that occurred in November 1978 in Jonestown, Guyana, at the People's Temple led by Jim Jones. On his orders, over 900 men, women, and children perished as Jones deteriorated into what was probably a paranoid psychosis.

The psychopathic personality has been well described by Hervey Cleckley in his classic work, The Mask of Sanity, first published in 1941 and updated and reissued in 1982. Cleckley is perhaps best known for The Three Faces of Eve, a book and later a popular movie on multiple personality. Cleckley also gave the world a detailed study of the personality and behavior of the psychopath, listing 16 characteristics to be used in evaluating and treating psychopaths.

Neuropsychiatrist Richard M. Restack stated, "At the heart of the diagnosis of psychopathy was the recognition that a person could appear normal and yet close observation would reveal the personality to be irrational or even violent." Indeed, initially most psychopaths appear quite normal. They present themselves to us as charming, interesting, and even humble. The majority "don't suffer from delusions, hallucinations, or memory impairment, their contact with reality appears solid."

Another researcher described psychopaths in this way: "These people are impulsive, unable to tolerate frustration and delay, and have problems with trusting. They take a paranoid position or externalize their emotional experience. They have little ability to form a working alliance and a poor capacity for self-observation. Their anger is frightening. Frequently they take flight. Their relations with others are highly problematic. When close to another person they fear engulfment or fusion or loss of self. At the same time, paradoxically, they desire closeness; frustration of their entitled wishes to be nourished, cared for, and assisted often leads to rage. They are capable of a child's primitive fury enacted with an adult's physical capabilities, and action is always in the offing.

Ultimately, "the psychopath [and the Cult Dom] must have what he wants, no matter what the cost to those in his way."