More Than A Scene Name

Is BDSm taking over your life? Eating you alive?  Does this sound like a bad commercial? Yeah, well… whatever man.

Some kinksters have moderation down to an art. They casually participate in the scene, and kink doesn’t interfere with the rest of their lives. And there are also some kinksters who can’t seem to exercise restraint or self-control to save their lives. For those of us in this second category, it’s easy to slip into a downward spiral without even noticing.

 

It’s possible to overdose on BDSm. If you have too much of something, there are consequences. For example, if you eat too much chocolate cake, you may puke your guts out, and never want to eat chocolate cake ever again. Balance is important, and balance is healthy. (This is why we usually limit ourselves to one slice of cake at a time.)

 

If you’re overdosing, it’s possible that your relationships will suffer. You might fall out of touch with life-long friends (especially if they’re vanilla), and neglect relationships with family. Disturbingly, you may lose your sense of self, forgetting what used to be important to you, like hobbies or beliefs.

 

Figure out what makes you happy; determine what brings you joy. (Is it your religion? The scene? Your job? Friends? Family?) Once you’ve made a list of these things, you can figure out whether or not you’re neglecting any of them, and what needs to change. It’s healthy to balance these interests, just like we eat from all food groups instead of having cake at every meal.

 

Also, pinpoint how you identify yourself. What do you see when you look in the mirror? A student? An attorney? A mother? A musician? An athlete? A screen-writer? A Mistress? A slave? Healthy humans are multi-faceted. When you look in this figurative mirror, you should see more than one thing in it. You are more than just a sub, Dom, or Switch. Never forget- you are more than just your scene name.

 

Ideally, we want to recognize and cultivate all of our facets. Sure, we’re kinksters, but we’re also film enthusiasts, rock-climbers, gamers, wine connoisseurs, Democrats, Republicans, accountants, computer hackers, Christians, atheists… you get the idea. It’s up to you to decide which of these facets are the most important, and how to balance them in the way that is healthiest and happiest for you.